Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize