I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
