So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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