I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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