I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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