if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
