a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
