My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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