At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
