Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Sorry about my life...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
