I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize