You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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