I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
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I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
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All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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