drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
