I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
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I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
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I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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