tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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