So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
His nipple licking is glorious
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