How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
