I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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