First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
this is an emotional support booty call
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
