He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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