Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
