I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
