Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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