im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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