Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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