please come you make the beer taste better
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i think my cat just said my name.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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