Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
