All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
