I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
