hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
