Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
