when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
