flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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