Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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