Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
