What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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