I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
