my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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