sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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