girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
