So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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