You can't motorboat a personality
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
