What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
