Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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