pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
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I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
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Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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