i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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