Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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