whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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