the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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