Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
