eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
