I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Damn victory sex feels great
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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