Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
