And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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