I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
