The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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