do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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